A Muslim wedding

Two weeks ago, Maria, Agnieska and I went to work for a Muslim family, originally from Iraq, they wanted us to help them in a weeding party. Maria and I visited one of the daughters of this large family two weeks before the wedding, her house looked that it was one of the rooms of the king from the tale one thousand one nights, it has these Persian carpets and this beautiful ornamented canapés, it looked so surreal, suddenly we were in Persia. She looked to be in mid-thirties with two little kids, she was dark skinned and maybe around 1,56m. She had terrible English but at least she tried to be communicative and to explain the situation as she could, her name was Nuurs, and she sounded nice and trustworthy, with a strong personality when imposing her preferences.

The wedding day came, it was a sunny but cold day, I waited Agnieska in front of my apartment, this skinny polish girl nodded with a smile and told me to come to the other side of the street. Agnieska had just lost her job at the greenhouse that I used to work in, she was one of the supervisors of Saint- Paulia houses, Claus, the Devil Dane fired her due to reduction of work, or let’s say the slowness of the green market for this season. Honestly, I think he did a mistake, I’ve never seen someone so dedicated and hard-working like this woman, she would stress and make her orders on time and still give a funny laugh.

Agnieska and I went to Volsemosse, to Nuurs palce. Her family was waiting for us in a car, an old and yellowish car, Maria also was there as she left earlier than us. We have arrived in Munkebo, to the party big salon, we were standing in the kitchen, supplied with so much food, varied fruits, Arabic chai, pastries, beverages, bread and everything you can imagine that can be served on a Muslim party. The warm meals would arrive in the night around 8 o’clock. We have arrived around 2, there wasn’t a lot to do there, we only had to prepare fruits to serve and brew some coffee.

Guests started to arrive, it should be half past 5, you could see the Arabic beauty stripping their dark burkas and reveling their shiny expensive dresses, it almost looked like a show, they would trade the black capes and flats for 20 cm heels and transparent skirts, take the blue or green eye lens as they can’t even show their original eyes color to stranger men, and be themselves. It was fascinating for me at the beginning, I could never imagine that these women that we often see them wearing black or dark color burkas and capes would be dressed like that underneath. They would show their long hair with very complicated hairstyles or just wear it simple, they would wear heavy golden jewelry and walk like they were on a catwalk. It was like I was spying a hidden sub-culture, something that you could never have outside of a situation like this, it was like I was an infiltrate on their world. I thought “they do know how to have fun and spend their husband’s money, and oh what about benefits?!” It wasn’t a malicious thought though, I’ve actually thought that they had some great right to take this advantage for the submission and oppression that they suffer from society, for being forced to endure such a hard life, for the fact that they are not free.

Once more I was mistaken by my naïve soul. “Who told you that they are not free?” I thought. They have created their own world, they can do whatever they want, they can dance, they can be naked in front of each other, they can have beautiful dresses and jewelry, they are supported by their husbands, they can wear makeup, they can be goddesses.  

We busted our asses to make everything like Nuurs wanted, we ran to take trash from tables, we served coffee, drinks, tea, fruits, sweets, pastries, meals, we cleaned, we washed, we carried stuff, we sweated like pigs to make everything perfect. I’ve never seen so much waste in my life, women and children would eat a piece or take a bite and then leave the food or drink untouched. Nuur’s old aunt was an evil queen, she would make us stop eating and go back to work without finishing, she would give orders like a tyrant, she would make us work like slaves! She was so unpleasant and ungrateful. Every women congratulate us for our great work but she wouldn’t even smile at us. We stayed there until 2 am, exhausted and sleepy, and deeply disappointed. The evil queen wanted to fool us and pay 5 or 6 times less of what we had agreed, we have protested obviously and then she called a boy to talk to us, Maria explained that the agreed was two times more than what she wanted to give us and then he translated this to the woman and then she gave more money but still, we were feeling fool as Nuurs promised us extra compensation. This woman had disappeared after the groom and the bride left the party to the hotel, yet she told us that she would come back. She did not.

The whole party I was feeling like a dirty servant from the old times to the fortunate Arabian goddesses, I really felt that I was transferred to an old century. They would look at me with despised eyes when I would go between the tables to clean the garbage, they would give me orders like I was some slave servant. Although others would be respectful and kind, most of them would be vicious.

My fascination and pity for them were gone, I couldn’t let myself avoid contempt and despise for them. It is convenient for them such a life, they do not work because their husbands support them, all they have to do is to have children and take care of them, they get extra money from benefits of European countries,  and they have their own world of vanity and luxury. When seeing their situation from this point, it doesn’t look such a burden to be forced to wear burkas and capes and almost look like Batman outside of the house or when strangers are near. Nowadays they can even engage themselves into high education, but who needs education when you have a husband to support you? Nevertheless these women are the derision of their own society I still believe that there are women with ideals and dreams that would like to be heard out of the black burka and reach what western women can achieve, I still believe that there are women being stoned to death in small villages as men believed somehow that they needed to be judged that way, I do still believe that there are Muslim women on remote places that are not free at all. Those, I do respect them and pity them.